a good friend of mine going away for treatment has caused me to become more irritable, competitive, jealous, and relapsed. 

[if we’re being honest here]

Of course I want her to be healthy, and am terrified for what she was doing to herself.. But I’m also mad at myself for getting fat again.

HOWEVER

I continue to support the health, and healthy eating/behaviors of others. 

Best of luck always, I’m always here for any form of support. <3

[after 2 years apart and unspeaking]

because he made me healthy. 

And because I was making food for someone who knew my bad habits, and casually made me eat with him.. We went out more for some meals, drank a LOT (totalled) over the last 5 months- not drunks, but sober people who regularly binge drank. 

Point is, I just started my hormones again, and I can already feel belly fat creeping on. I’m terrified of gaining again. I’ve had a serious kidney infection (that placed me in the ER on Sunday) all week, and hardly eaten much, but I feel like I’m finally at a spot where I can reduce my eating enough to finally be thin again. I was barely thin for a month, before we got together and he made me happy and thick. Ugh. Just lost my job recently, soooo I dunno if I can afford a gym membership, but I’ll figure something out :c

ps: yes I am slipping back into ednos habits, no I don’t care, because I refuse to purge. It’s my straw of ‘health’ I’m clinging to. 

I have two new prog photos up, of me in a bathing suit. (just message me for the pw if you’d like it) :) 

I don’t look perfect- thighs are thick, waist isn’t showing definition, arms are flabby… But for once, I’m starting to feel “good” about how I look in photos again. Going to bed, waking up in a couple hours to work out ^_^

Happy health!

Yes yes yes

(via skinnyhealthyperfection)

I stilllllll want to buy shorts like this. But I need to tone my legs first! :P

Anyone know where I can buy some good running shorts?

(Source: artonkels, via imatthegymbitch)

:)

Also, for anyone who may be interested at all, I just posted new pictures to my prog-blog.. But not what you’d think. I posted 4 photos from when I was within 15 lbs of my heaviest weight. NOT pretty. I plan to post new pictures of myself this weekend, at my current floppy untoned state.. BUT wanted to remind myself that I’ve certainly been worse off, and it’s not over till I quit.

*Also, updated my weight loss/measurements. It no longer shows a 55lb loss, but rather a 42. I will get there!

(Source: 10000steps, via courtneyisserious)

New progress photo :P not that anyone really cares, but I think I’m going to post them weekly now. Please disregard the fact that I’m lady times-ing, so I might be retaining a pound or so of water. I *do think I notice progress though, especially if I compare to my November photo :)

<3

(Source: iwillbe-beautiful, via skinnylittlemiss)

I feel kind of disgusting to upload this now, because I should’ve taken the photo this morning, before the water I drank showed up, and I feel like I look rather thick in this shot. :( But aanyway, it’s horrible lighting, and I’ll take a better more revealing one tomorrow, so you can see actual progress.

But maybe you can see muscles creeping in? Maybe? Or maybe I’m delusional. I’ve been depressed lately, so no one take my ED modes/moods to heart. 

Hope everyone else has a lovely night <3

I just added my before/ during measurements on my profile for those who have asked. :)

I think the billions of crunches and planks have started paying off. Still a little bloated, but I’ll upload a new prog photo later tonight~~

Stay healthy, girls! <3

(via beforeandafterfatlosspics)

daintyd:

musesandmannequins:

She is beautiful and her outfit is so very feminine and delicate.

Her elbow.

What the crap? I know her. Like, in real life.
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000813030064

She’s completely beautiful, and was some of my major thinspo in high school. Weeeeeird. 

(via meeee-oooww)

I’m officially 22 years old. (Around midnight here). Eeeeeeep. No more the “cute, young, party age” of 21. Not that I spent the year partying. Ah well.

ANYWAY, as my first act as a 22 year old, [in addition to taking a bunch of vitamins to fight my maybe-cold], I’m waking up at a decent time tomorrow morning, stretching, putting on my BRAND NEW RUNNING SHOES (thanks mom and dad for the early gift!) and trying my hardest to finally pass the mile on my high school’s old track. I didn’t pass a single time when I attended, I really want to see if I can do it now. :)

Hope everyone else has a lovely day, I’ll post a bit more tomorrow, it’s bedtime now <3